Small little thing, really.

Here is a tiny little excerpt;
     "Why whenever I wake up, it's in this room," I asked tiredly. "What's wrong with the Cell?" SpiderWoman didn't answer, she just kept smiling at me. It wasn't, as you can imagine, a pleasurable sight. Her dark curls framed her pale, round face, enhancing her features to look even more spider-like then usual. Her thin, spidery fingers crawled over the desk compulsively. She looked like a fat tarantula, spinning its web and about to feast. I didn't want to hear what she was going to say, and I found myself seriously considering hanging my head back and snoring right in her stupid, superior face. That would not only be as close as relaxing I could get in this situation, but it would be hilarious to watch the expression she would make. But instead, I leaned back in my chair and looked around. There were no bodyguards here, only walls. Walls and chairs. Huh. A small frame on the wall held a crinkled piece of paper, but I couldn't see what it said. With my eyes still fixed on a small puddle in the corner, I turned my body to her.
     I tore my eyes away from the suspicious substance, and glanced over at SpiderWoman. "Should I find the lack of guards flattering, or insulting," I cracked sardonically. Not expecting an answer, I was surprised to watch her mouth start to move.
    " Don't worry," she simpered, her honey-sweet voice burning my ears like hard candy in soda,"I'm well protected." I hung my head back and laughed. Yeah, because that was what I was worried about. Looking around some more, I noticed the chair I was sitting on had wheels. I gingerly placed a toe on the ground, and when nothing hurt me, I slowly laid my whole bare, dirty foot flat. Pushing off with my heel, I zoomed back a little. Then, a brilliant plan formed in my head, and suddenly I was grinning. But, as quickly as it had come, my plan started to fade; there must be some extra precaution. . .
SpiderWoman frowned ever so slightly, as if reluctant to show that much emotion. "What's so funny," she asked suspiciously, slowly. I didn't answer. I wanted to do this before she started whatever she wanted to do. It was worth a shot, at least.
     Suddenly, I swung my rope-tied hands over the back of the chair, and it rolled forward. I jerked back as hard as I could, and it flipped. Laughing, despite the terror in the situation, I sprang up and ran the hell away from the woman behind me. She stood up and shrieked words I didn't understand, and it didn't stop me from sprinting head-first. Anger darkened her features, but I turned my face around and slammed my shoulder into a very-much solid door.
     To my surprise, it opened. I bolted through, ignoring the politely  astonished faces around me. Only until I reached the end of the room did anyone react, yell and shouts erupting like a storm all around me. But too late now; I was already at the end. "Yes!" I was so close. Just one more step. . .
     BAM! A large fist swung into my shoulder, and I yelped and flew a few feet back. No. Dammit, I was so close this time. . . With the world swirling around me, I opened my eyes to see Valk's muscular hand reach for my hair. . .


  1. Oooo! So close!
    But seriously Viv, well done. I'm really loving your story so far! It's brilliant! I can't wait to read more - as always ^^

  2. :O AMAZING! I love it so far. You're such a good writer!

  3. I like it, but I have one helpful critic. When saying a question in dialogue ALWAYS use question marks, not commas. Always.